gossips of my heart

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 @10:35 pm

Ok, prelims is not the end of my life. Since no one is encouraging me, I shall encourage myself.
Prelims is not the end. There is still the actual O levels to come. There are 34 days left. I still strive. I still study hard. If Morrie can keep his spirits up, so can I. :D
(if you don't know what i'm talking about, go and read "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom.)

Have you ever had a teacher with whom you were really close to? Who was your mentor, your friend, your strength? Morrie was such a teacher. I think I've met mine too, though I don't see her much now.
Everybody needs someone to probe him in the right direction every now and then. We all need teachers in our lives.

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." Henry Adams

Life is a series of pulls back and forth.
A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewere in the middle.

Everyone knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.

Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

"Love each other or perish." Auden

"Fate succumbs
many a species: one alone
jeopardises itself." --W.H. Auden

Devote yourself to loving other. Devote yourself to your community around you. Devote yourself to creating something that gives you prurpose an meaning.

Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.

People are only mean when they are threatened.

Be compassionate, and take responsibility for each other. If we only learnted those lessons, this world would be so much better a place.

Forgive yourself before you die, then forgive others.

A wave is not a wave, it is part of the ocean.

@7:51 pm

English: B4
Higher Chinese: C5
German: A1
E Maths: A2
A Maths: C5
Biology: A1
Chemistry: A2
Physics: C5
Music: B3
Combined Humanities: C6

L1R5: 15 (last year's Chinese included)

To get into VJC, I need a moderation of 4 grades, and minus my 4 bonus points.
Is this possible? 4 grades? Is that where I'm supposed to go? What is my destiny?
All will be revealed in time.

Whats my alternative? ACJC

you know you love me
fingers crossed

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 @6:50 pm

English: B4
Biology: A1
Chemistry: A2
German: A1
Music: B3
Combine Humanities: C6
E Maths: ??? (A1???)
A Maths: ???
Ohysics: ???
Higher Chinese: ???

L1R5:
English + Combine Humanities + Biology + German + Chinese (last year) + E Maths
= 4 + 6 + 1 + 1 + 1 + !
= 14

14 points...minus 4 bonus...10 points...
where can i go with 10 points?
the door to VJ is closed
where else cna i go
where should i go?

Monday, September 26, 2005 @9:15 pm

Halleluja! Thank God!!! I got a B4 for my English. I thought I was going to get a C, and that I would need to miracle to get a B4. Well, I had my miracle! Thank you God!!!

I pulled away
I thought I was strong
I thought I could finish the journey alone
You became "obsolete"
But you never left my side
Always reminding me of your prescence
And now I'm finding my way back to you

L1 (english): B4
R1 (germna): A1
R2 (biology): A1
R3 (express chinese): A1
R4 (emaths): A1
R5 (combine humanities):

I've got a definite 7 points now. If I get A1 for emaths and B3 for combine humans, I'll have a total of 11 points. If I pass my higher chinese, I'll get to deduct a total of 4 points, which will give me 7 points. It might be able to get me into VJC.
Its all I can do to hope. The decision lies with God. I think I've done my best.

Saturday, September 24, 2005 @9:55 pm

Yesterday was the first day of debrief...
Windows slammed shut in my face...
Because I barely passed my English paper 1. To be specific, I got 50%. And now they are saying that they may not include our oral marks. I was really indignant when I heard that. Prelims are supposed to be a mirror image of the O levels, we'er supposed to get the same deal, not an altered version! Especially not in a subject like English.
I know I didn't do very well, but I seriously didn't expect to do so terribly either.
I've been doing really badly for English ever since this year. Comprehension has been really bad. I barely scrape passes, and for mid year I got a measely 16/50. As for composition, I used to get around 21/30...now, I get 15/30.
The most frustrating thing is, I don't know if its me or Ms. K.
Is Ms. K. that strict and stingy or is my English that bad?
The first few times I failed, I wasn't too worked up. I told myself that it was a wildcard, that the next time would be better. But now its every single time. I've never done well for English. Not a single time.

Doubt slowly creeps in
The seed of fear is planted
Confidence is pushed out
Confidence that I clung on to
Is it her or is it me
What do I do
Helpless

Never in my life have my hopes and aspirations been dashed like that. With a single C, I'll be staying home for the first three months next year.
I need a miracle. The maximum my combined English and Combine Humanities grades can be is 4. And I need to pass my higher Chinese. Only then will I get into VJC.
I thank God for my A1s in Biology and German. And for A1 in Chinese last year.
I need a miracle.

Well, one consolation is that I passed my grade 8. I even got Merit, albeit a borderline merit. I was expecting to fail, so it was really a pleasant surprise to hear that I got merit. Thank you Mr Clark.

Friday, September 23, 2005 @12:14 am

Finally!!! After 2 long grilling weeks...
2 weeks of mugging and slogging...
The first of the worst is over!!!
I shall rest for a week...then it'll be back to studying...
Yup, I shall TRY to study well...the operating word being try...
I shall plan...and I shall follow the plan...
But, of course...it all depends on how I do for prelims...
Debriefs start tomorrow...so I'll know...

In the meantime, I have to figure out how to keep the channel open with somebody who seems to be closing the channel...

God Bless
You know you love me

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 @11:18 pm

The past couple of days of exams must have taken its toil on me...cause my brain wasn't functioning properly today...
Went S.P. kfc to study for A maths with C today.
After about 1.5 hrs, I felt like munching something, so I went to buy cheese fries with extra cheese.
The first stupid thing was: The aunty told me it was extra 30cents. (total was $3.10). So I took out a $10 note and dug in my wallet for 30cents. I was still thinking "wa..just nice 30 cents" and happily put the coins on the table. Only when the register rang $3.10 did I realise how dumb that must have been to the aunty..."goodness, this girl can't count or what...?"
Second stupid thing: I asked for extra cheese remember? I waited for sometime, she didn't give me anything. I looked at the tray of fries and assumed it was already added in. So I started walking away. Aunty called out to me to take my change. I took my change and stood there waiting. (I heard it as "take my cheese") So I was dumbly standing there...aunty asked me what I was waiting for, I said, "didn't you just ask me to wait for my cheese?" Aunty pointed to the fries, "added in already, i was referring to your change..."
ahahaha...and this is only the second day of exams...
tomorrow a maths...
good luck to me
you know you love me

Saturday, September 10, 2005 @9:21 pm

Something interesting...There are 4 people in the cast of Dae Jang Geum who are also in Be Strong Geum Soon...
Yang Mi Kyung: DJG- Han Sang Gong BSGS- GS's mum
Choi Ja Hye: DJG- Chang E BSGS- GS's sister
Lee Se Eun: DJG- Yong Ri BSGS- YMK's daughter
then theres this other girl, who was a court girl in DJG, and is YMK's other daughter in BSGS.
Lol, I think this is so cool...I'm gonna be so immersed in korean actors/actresses and shows after Os...
you know you love me

Wednesday, September 07, 2005 @11:12 pm

The term "holiday" needs defining. The dictionary defines "holiday" as "A day free from work that one may spend at leisure". However, I beg to differ. This week of "holidays" is a week free from school. The leisure time, is to be spent studying. This definition happens to apply to all Sec 4s and Sec 2s, maybe P6s as well.
This is a study break. A break from school, to allow students to study at their own pace, to study however suits them best.
So, studying is precisely what I've been trying to do (the functioning word being "trying").
I'm getting about 3 hrs of work done a day...that is soo not enough...
I've got to step on the gas...but...but...but...
well...I've just got to give it all I've got...its just a few more months...
butbutbut....its only a few more days to prelims...how can I make it...
I can...I shall...I must....!!!
Good luck to me...
you know you love me

Sunday, September 04, 2005 @12:10 am

It was a KILLER!!!
Bio pract...well, you could call it a breeze...though I can't garantee that I'll get full marks.
The experiments were easy enough, but for the open ended questions, there was this 5 mark question which I crapped my way through. I finished the paper in a 1 hour, and was so bored for the next half an hour. Now, don't tell me I could have used the time to think about the question. It was the type of question which you either knew or didn't know. So I spent the half hour mutilating the specimen provided.
Went Macs to cram for german with H...nordy and the others were there...haha...ended up crapping alot....was soo fun!
BUT...BUT....THE EXAM....
They were just out to kill us...the paper was like 5 times more difficult than anything we've ever done!!! CRAP!!!It was really BAD!!!!!

Now, I shall just have to mug mug mug and mug for my other papers...wish me luck

you know you love me

ps: lots happened today, but don't feel like blogging :p