Saturday, September 24, 2005 @9:55 pm
Yesterday was the first day of debrief...
Windows slammed shut in my face...
Because I barely passed my English paper 1. To be specific, I got 50%. And now they are saying that they may not include our oral marks. I was really indignant when I heard that. Prelims are supposed to be a mirror image of the O levels, we'er supposed to get the same deal, not an altered version! Especially not in a subject like English.
I know I didn't do very well, but I seriously didn't expect to do so terribly either.
I've been doing really badly for English ever since this year. Comprehension has been really bad. I barely scrape passes, and for mid year I got a measely 16/50. As for composition, I used to get around 21/30...now, I get 15/30.
The most frustrating thing is, I don't know if its me or Ms. K.
Is Ms. K. that strict and stingy or is my English that bad?
The first few times I failed, I wasn't too worked up. I told myself that it was a wildcard, that the next time would be better. But now its every single time. I've never done well for English. Not a single time.
Doubt slowly creeps in
The seed of fear is planted
Confidence is pushed out
Confidence that I clung on to
Is it her or is it me
What do I do
Helpless
Never in my life have my hopes and aspirations been dashed like that. With a single C, I'll be staying home for the first three months next year.
I need a miracle. The maximum my combined English and Combine Humanities grades can be is 4. And I need to pass my higher Chinese. Only then will I get into VJC.
I thank God for my A1s in Biology and German. And for A1 in Chinese last year.
I need a miracle.
Well, one consolation is that I passed my grade 8. I even got Merit, albeit a borderline merit. I was expecting to fail, so it was really a pleasant surprise to hear that I got merit. Thank you Mr Clark.